


just for a moment

by shineemyheart



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron) Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst without a happy ending, F/M, I'm Sorry, M/M, POV Keith (Voltron), POV Lance (Voltron), Wedding, it hurt to write this, loads of quiet pining, lots of self-loathing, no happy ending, read to find out which pairing this story is really for, unrequited love... OR IS IT?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 17:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19950013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shineemyheart/pseuds/shineemyheart
Summary: Keith is standing at the back of the open tent, the cool evening breeze rolling off the ocean ruffling his hair, the white flowing curtains obscuring him from the rest of the party. He’s slowly scanning the dancefloor, hoping to get one last glimpse. It doesn’t take him long to find them—he sees Lance and Allura dancing amidst their guests, matching smiles on their faces.It had been a lovely wedding. Everything had been perfect, fit for the royalty it was for. Keith had managed to keep a smile on his face throughout the ceremony and most of the wedding party, but it was becoming increasingly difficult as the night wore on.





	just for a moment

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by K.Will's Please Don't and it is completely hiuythn's fault. 
> 
> It hurt to write this. I don't even like angst, I'm usually all about the fluff.
> 
> Feel free to yell at me in the comments. Maybe I'll even write something to make up for this angst fest.

_Keith – that evening_

Keith is standing at the back of the open tent, the cool evening breeze rolling off the ocean ruffling his hair, the white flowing curtains obscuring him from the rest of the party. He’s slowly scanning the dancefloor, hoping to get one last glimpse. It doesn’t take him long to find them—he sees Lance and Allura dancing amidst their guests, matching smiles on their faces.

It had been a lovely wedding. Everything had been perfect, fit for the royalty it was for. Keith had managed to keep a smile on his face throughout the ceremony and most of the wedding party, but it was becoming increasingly difficult as the night wore on. He had excused himself from the group of former paladins on the dancefloor, screaming over the music to let Shiro know he was going to step out for a minute to get the sand out of his shoes. He didn’t wait for a response from Shiro and he made a point not to look at his brother—he had always been able to see right through him. Keith was genuinely surprised but grateful that Shiro didn’t follow him out; he wasn’t quite sure if he could have held himself together if Shiro so much as asked him if he was alright.

_Lance - earlier that day_

An important member of the coalition is chatting away with Allura in a language Lance can’t understand. He stands next to her, smile on his face. His is mind elsewhere, no longer focused on trying to decipher the series of clicks and high-pitched sounds. He scans the crowd of his guests and his eyes land on Keith, Hunk, Veronica, and Acxa—Hunk says something that doesn’t carry over the loud music, and they all laugh. There’s a pause in the music as the songs change, and he can hear them for a moment.

Lance, because he’s Lance, can tell something wasn’t quite right with Keith. All day, his smiles had been too wide, his laughs too loud. There was something disconcerting about it all, but Lance couldn’t figure out what it was other than _wrong_. Lance had grown to know Keith better than anyone, maybe even Shiro, over the years. He knew what his real smiles looked like, what his laugh actually sounded like. The Keith at his wedding was too composed, too measured in the way he showed his happiness.

He thinks back to the day he asked Allura out for the first time. Hunk had mentioned over breakfast that stupid show, the ridiculous love triangle in it. For a second, he wonders if Keith really did have feelings for Allura. He brushes the thought away immediately. It feels off—not quite right. Lance is sure he would’ve noticed something that big. They’re closer than anyone on the team, he would’ve known if that was really the case.

The thought is pushed to the back of his head. There is a bitter taste in his mouth, and a quiet ache in his heart. He’s not sure when, but the smile on his face had given way to a frown. He takes a sip from the champagne flute in his hand and forces a smile back onto his face.

Everything that night is perfect. He stays at Allura’s side every moment of it, dancing and chatting with guests that come over to congratulate them. He’s constantly busy and there isn’t a moment to breathe. He’s too busy to notice Keith’s departure.

_Keith – that evening_

Keith is stomping his way through the sand, becoming increasingly irritated at how it fills his shoes. He can hear the sand beneath his shoes, the waves crashing in the distance, the party behind him. He wants it all to stop, just for a second so he can catch his breath and blink back the moisture in his eyes properly. He has managed not to cry yet, and he won’t allow himself to until he’s out of the solar system at least.

There’s a Polaroid tucked into his suit pocket. Lance had insisted on a picture after the ceremony, and now Keith is stuck with it. He thought about leaving it behind on a table or simply throwing it away, but he just couldn’t do it. It felt hot against him, like it was burning through his suit and into his skin.

Keith wasn’t due to get back to the Blade for a few more days, but it hurt too much to stick around. He needed some space and some air and possibly a fight. Everything after leaving the beach is a blur he can’t quite recall. Nevertheless, he makes it back to his ship, out of his suit, and into his uniform. The Polaroid goes from the pocket of his jacket to that of his uniform, and he doesn’t look at it until he’s light years out of the solar system.

He flies more recklessly than he ever did in the Garrison simulators. Purposefully flying into asteroid fields, he fires the lasers away until he’s absolutely drained.

He had promised himself he would push his own feelings to the side and be happy for them long ago. The wedding itself had proved to be much more difficult than he had anticipated. He felt like a coward, leaving before the end of the night, but there was only so much he could deal with. He hates himself for the bitterness he feels, the feeling that it should have been _him._ He thinks about the what ifs and everything he could’ve done differently. He knows he missed any chance he ever had, and that he’ll never have one again.

Tears have made their way out of his eyes without his permission and blurred his vision. He stops his ship in a quiet part of space, the hum of the engines around him somewhat soothing the pounding in his head.

He takes the Polaroid out of his pocket, the one right over his heart. He looks down at their smiling faces, the ocean waves as their backdrop. Allura looks absolutely stunning between him and Lance, elegant and practically glowing with happiness.

After all the pain she endured throughout her life, she deserves a happy ending.

So does Lance.

So does he.

Slowly, _carefully_ despite his shaking hands, he tears the Polaroid between Allura and Lance. He looks down at himself next to Allura. She’s perfect and powerful, the strongest, most resilient person he knows, and he loves her.

He thinks a silent apology towards her, for his bitterness at her happiness—for her happiness causing him pain.

Then, he looks at Lance. His heart twinges as it always does when he looks at him.

Hating himself even more as he does it, he overlaps the two pieces of the Polaroid until he and Lance are next to each other so he can pretend.

Just for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> did you see that coming at all?
> 
> feel free to yell at me in the comments or on tumblr at jjongleurs ;')


End file.
